Thursday, March 6, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Elves Make The Best Heroes

Hey all,

I'll continue commanding this blog *hehehe* by reposting a blog I did over at the Witchy Chicks back in August. I hope you enjoy it!

Now, normally, I would consider myself open to any and all types of heroes pilling into my fictional bed, with or without the crackers. But I think I’ve come up with the perfect paranormal hero…the Elf hero. Here’s my top ten reasons why:

1. Let’s face it, Aragorn may have been ruggedly handsome, and WWF muscular, but the man looked like he stunk to high heaven. Legolas on the other hand, never had a spot of dirt on his tunic, a stray hair out of his ponytail, or a ring of sweat around his armpits. Hmm, not a tough call as to which one I’d like to curl up with beside the fire after a long day of traveling. ;-)

2. Now while a Were-hero might howl his pain at your death to the full moon, unlike an Elf hero, he’s not going to die over it. Elves have got to be the most romantically developed heroes I’ve ever read about. They practice monogamy religiously, and adultery is flat out unheard of. Their immortal life can only be brought to an end by two things, death in battle or a broken heart. Doesn’t that just make you sigh? (Sorry to say it, but Lestat the vampire would just shrug down at your dead corpse and move on – lol!) Oh, and as a mother of a pre-teen girl, I must say that the fact that Elf heroes consider premarital sex unthinkable, gives the lad major brownie points in my book.

3. They’re gorgeous. Okay, there…I said it. I’m being shallow. But come on, they are flat out beautiful. Athletic, yet aesthetic, lithe yet immensely strong. They possess the kind of beauty that inspires bards, and has poets taking up their quills to write about eternal love. Yup, they are that hot…and remember, I’m all about the hot men. *winks*

4. Elf heroes are ass-kickers and name takers. Whether they are wielding a bow and arrow, a sword or a brace of daggers, an Elfin warrior is last thing you want to see running at you on the battlefield, for it will literally be the last thing you see.

5. They’re noble. As if being gorgeous, athletic and romantic wasn’t enough, they have a conscious and they aren’t afraid to stand by their beliefs, even on pain of death.

6. As if you already couldn’t tell, they’re fiercely loyal and altruistic. Whether you are the heroine, or newfound friend, you have a friend for life when you make one with an Elf hero. He will stand beside you in battle, protect you if you fall, or rescue you if you get captured – and not for money or fame, but because it’s “the right thing to do.”

7. They have “Spidey-sense.” Too cool, huh? I’ve always thought it a great gift to cultivate a sense of one-ness with nature and the Elves have it down to a science, albeit a carefree one. Whether danger lurks around the bend, or our Elf hero’s ladylove finds herself kidnapped by the bad guys – he can use his senses to avert danger, rescue his lady, and save the day. Oh, and he always remembers where you set up camp if you get lost in the forest.

8. Now, this is a personal preference, but Elf heroes are completely hairless, except for the silken strands on their freakishly gorgeous heads. I don’t know about you, but there is just something about running your hands over hard, hot, smooth flesh that does it for me.

9. Next reason, the Elf hero is not sexist. {{gasp, shock}} Crazy, I know. But they believe a woman is just as capable of charging into a battle, as she is a bedroom, which makes them a rare gem when it comes to any man. Granted, that means there aren’t that many Alpha males floating about Elf-land, but I would prefer equality to being smashed over the head with a club and drug into a cave by my hair, any day.

10. Drumroll please…and the last reason that Elves make the best heroes…while I may not have just described the Elf hero you wrote about, read about, fantasize about, or saw in a movie oh, about three or four years ago…Hanarom Avidaul, the hero of my fantasy romance novel, “A Magical Encounter” has all of the characteristics listed above, and boy is he hot. *wriggling brows*

So, come on y'all. What do you think of Elf heroes? Or do you have personal favorites you'd like to share?


Michelle Lauren said...

Hey Meagan,
I totally agree with number one. I thought Aragorn was so delicious, but nobody comes close to Legolas. Talk about steamy! I think we need more Elf hero stories--the LOTR kind of elf, not the Keebler kind. *smile* They just have a certain majestic quality to them, and it's always a plus when the hero is sexy, strong and monogamous. Great post!

Warm regards,

Meagan Hatfield said...

Hi Michelle!

Phew! Another elf lover. :-) I thought I was surrounded by a bunch of Aragorn fans for minute - what with all the chirping crickets over here. LOL!

Thanks for the comments! And yes, Leggie is tres yummy. *winks*

Minx Malone said...

Oh I loved Legolas. He was elegantly sexy.

When I first read this post all I could think of was the movie "Elf" with Will Ferrell. Definitely not sexy!!


Meagan Hatfield said...

Aw, come on, Minx...the way he ate that chocolate covered pasta didn't do anything for ya? LOL!

Savanna Kougar said...

Wow, now there's an elf hero I could pant over.

Eden Rivers said...

Great blog, Meagan! I'm a sucker for those elf heroes, too :-) Can't put my finger on why, but they just plain do it for me!